Short story: take a trip to the temple of the great tomato - humor
Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. Far from it, Jimmy has had the same job, in the same bureau for 15 years. He's got about 2 years of feast time built up as he never, and I mean never, goes anywhere, not even to the Coast for a day in the sun. He works very hard, is an good-humored fellow, but is single, 39 years old, and boring. Boring is this guy's central name. I don't think he has any hobbies and he never has something appealing to say, just small talk, and the obligatory work speeches. I sought to crack this man's shell of boredom and blandness, but how?
You see I'm the accomplished contradictory to Jimmy, his antithesis, and yin to his yang, black to his white. I live for excitement. I live to travel. Beaches, festivals, treks, alien food, culture, nature, historic sites, and shopping in unfamiliar lands are what make my blood run, my atmosphere fly, and my heart beat closer than the speed of light. I just had to wake up this man from his static, inactive existence. I mean there could be nobody anonymous about this guy; all was right in your face, out in the open.
Well, beforehand I began my "Crack Jimmy's shell challenge", I had more critical equipment to do, like get the hell out of there. The famed La Tomatino Festival in Spain was about to come to pass and I had carefully ordered my trip on the Internet. It's truly amazing the total of in rank and help you can get from all the peripatetic web sites. I like to be controlled and equipped for all eventualities that might happen. My air tickets and hotel were booked in advance, and I got all the 'juice' on visas, currency, and carrying (train from Valencia to Bunol-$3. 00!) from the Net. I've on paper off maps of the city and town, got lists of all the famed attractions, nightspots, and the best restaurants for that authentic paella experience.
So anyway, the weekly festivals were in full gesticulate and I was having the time of my life. A ambiance of impending excitement was pervading the air as each one was in receipt of ready for the finale of the festival- the chief food fight in the world. 125 tonnes of tomatoes to be crooked into human ketchup in just two hours! No one knows faithfully why the tradition began back in the 1950's, but it has befall a bit of a dutiful cause for those who worship the Temple of the Great Tomato, nah, it's in fact Christian. Doesn't affair much to me, I just sought to be part of the chaos-I even wore a white suit. Citizens say this is a allegorical challenge at suicide, but I'm all the time up for a challenge!
Here we go! The argue began. The air twisted red, citizens going crazy at the height of excitement. It seems the white suit wasn't the best idea. I got hammered. Total pulverization. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me as the tomato integrated itself into my soul. I lay on the ground, colonize administration all about me yelling and screaming in Spanish. I looked up all the way through the ketchup dripping densely off of my eyelids. That's when my mind was completely blown away into oblivion, never to be the same again. Eminence in front of me smiling, throwing handfuls of squished tomatoes was none other than Jimmy Jenkins Jr. He bent over, looked me above-board in the eye and said,
"Richard Woodward, fancy appointment you here. "
I stuttered in astonishment, but no comprehensible words came out. Also the shock or the tomatoes in my mouth were creating the problem. Jimmy spoke again, his smile as wide as a tomato-mad maniac,
" Let me let you in on a bit of clandestine Richard. I know you won't give me away. You see buddy, I've got an equal brother. We make it look like we're constantly running for the company, at all times on time, constantly there. But in actuality we're allotment one man's life and when the other man is at work, the other is peripatetic the world having huge vacations and revelry like mad. It exceedingly is hard when it's my turn to go to the administrative center and act so incredibly boring and predictable. Cute cool eh?"
He then lifted a giant (what looked like a genetically altered) tomato and screaming a family yell, smashed it into my face. He then laughed and ran into the tomato-red dusk leave-taking me 'bloody' and bewildered.
About The Author
Jesse S. Somer
http://www. m6. net
Jesse S. Somer is a space-traveling human in suspense to show his fellow Earth-dwellers the covert opportunities found in the Internet.
Spamtown, USA offers history with heart, humor | 507 Magazine PostBulletin.com
Mary Duddy: Humor at the dinner table Hawaii Catholic Herald
Sketch comedy finds humor in everyday life OurayNews.com
Clark serious about spring workouts, shows sense of humor with media Watauga Democrat
Opinion: Lincoln’s legacy of humor Canton Repository
Rosanne Cash and John Leventhal delight with amazing grace and marital humor at Guthrie - Minneapolis Star Tribune
Rosanne Cash and John Leventhal delight with amazing grace and marital humor at Guthrie Minneapolis Star Tribune
Clayton Williams remembered for his kindness, humor Midland Reporter-Telegram
Video games: ‘Savage Planet,’ ‘Snack World’ offer humor, whimsy for long winter months - Loveland Reporter-Herald
Video games: ‘Savage Planet,’ ‘Snack World’ offer humor, whimsy for long winter months Loveland Reporter-Herald
Former San Jose mayor brings Irish humor to new play The Mercury News
Flagpole Radio Cafe Twists Humor, Music Into Valentine Show The Newtown Bee
Cartoonist finds humor in student life The Knox Student
Humor: Southern Cliches The Lafayette Sun
So long, ill humor: Second annual event helps kick off Charro Days Brownsville Herald
'We can't make humor out of people struggling': Community responds to Portland Firefighter's calendar that mocked homeless camps - KGW.com
'We can't make humor out of people struggling': Community responds to Portland Firefighter's calendar that mocked homeless camps KGW.com
Hakim-Shabazz brings rapid-fire, humorous take on politics Journal Review
Down On The Farm: Winter requires a sense of humor Ashland Daily Press
HUMOR AND GRACE: Erma Bombeck reminds us all we are in this life together – ILM's Alternative Weekly Voice - encore Online
HUMOR AND GRACE: Erma Bombeck reminds us all we are in this life together – ILM's Alternative Weekly Voice encore Online
'Downhill' review: A muddled mix of humor and drama Los Angeles Times
Sterling adds humor Seeley Swan Pathfinder
In Jenny Offill’s ‘Weather,’ Paranoia Is Delivered With Humor The New York Times
HUMOR: What Happened to Chocolates? Pagosa Daily Post
POINTS EAST: Trying to find humor through ailments, but some leave no trace of humor - The Sentinel-Echo
POINTS EAST: Trying to find humor through ailments, but some leave no trace of humor The Sentinel-Echo
'Cinderella' brings humor, song and possibility to the PAC Newport News Times
Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Super Bowl 'Crotchgate' critics need to chill - The Progressive Pulse
Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Super Bowl 'Crotchgate' critics need to chill The Progressive Pulse
Jack Harris brings his humor, personality to his radio listeners FOX 13 Tampa Bay
Review: Invisible Theatre’s ‘Becoming Dr. Ruth’ is a humor-laced tale of survival - Arizona Daily Star
Review: Invisible Theatre’s ‘Becoming Dr. Ruth’ is a humor-laced tale of survival Arizona Daily Star
'Menopause the Musical' at the Perot Texarkana Gazette
‘Little Shop of Horrors’ is a dark tragedy with humorous moments Midland Reporter-Telegram
Fleet Street wins Best Humor Video award The Stanford Daily
Brian Posehn on Discovering Anthrax and Finding Comedy in Metal – Humor of the Beast - Metal Injection.net
Brian Posehn on Discovering Anthrax and Finding Comedy in Metal – Humor of the Beast Metal Injection.net
'Hello Dolly!' Entertains with Farcical Humor and Glamour The Emory Wheel
Bloomberg Enrages Trump by Buying Greenland The New Yorker
Valentine's Day humor from John Calipari Vaught's Views
Cartoonist Keith Knight speaks on race, power of humor at Cabell Library The Commonwealth Times
Person to Person: Why a sense of humor can balance relationships Duluth News Tribune
‘Silent Sky’ tells the story of pioneering female astronomers with humor and warmth - The Washington Post
‘Silent Sky’ tells the story of pioneering female astronomers with humor and warmth The Washington Post
It’s up to the locals to create Follies humor The Durango Herald
Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Make mine Melania The Progressive Pulse
Comedian keeps humor family-friendly | Entertainment Northern Star Online
Sex, Death and Guinea Pigs Eugene Weekly
Slam poet in the wry: Flagstaff's Smalley wins over crowds with humor Arizona Daily Sun
Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Reconnecting with the founding fathers (and their descendants) - The Progressive Pulse
Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Reconnecting with the founding fathers (and their descendants) The Progressive Pulse
Gilliland brings life experiences, humor to Chamber banquet Business Laurinburg Exchange
Jokes on a third World War: Harmless humor or inappropriate insensitivity? (FlipSide) - Charleston Gazette-Mail
Jokes on a third World War: Harmless humor or inappropriate insensitivity? (FlipSide) Charleston Gazette-Mail
Artists Against Trump bring humor to political scene The Laconia Daily Sun
Lesser-Known 2020 Voting Blocs The New Yorker
Jenny Offill's Novel Weather Looks at "Climate Dread" with Humor and Plenty of Gloom - TheStranger.com
Jenny Offill's Novel Weather Looks at "Climate Dread" with Humor and Plenty of Gloom TheStranger.com
Super Bowl commercials featured humor, emotion, and celebrities WJW FOX 8 News Cleveland
[Haircuts and humor: How Nashville SC players are striving to increase closer in the preseason] - gotech daily
[Haircuts and humor: How Nashville SC players are striving to increase closer in the preseason] gotech daily
Comic April Macie Overcame Tragedy Through Humor Ozarks Independent
Tackling racism with humor | Local | dnews.com Moscow-Pullman Daily News
'Urinetown' plunges local artists into apocalyptic bathroom humor Petaluma Argus Courier
Funimation Edits Joke To Remove Light Sexual Humor In 'BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense' - Bounding Into Comics
Funimation Edits Joke To Remove Light Sexual Humor In 'BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense' Bounding Into Comics
PASTOR MICHAEL BROOKS: Using humor effectively (column) Anniston Star
Meet the officers behind the humorous Pasco Police Facebook page YakTriNews KAPP-KVEW
A humorous take on home loan rejection in HomeFirst's new campaign ETBrandEquity.com
William Shatner and Brad Paisley Share Humorous Tales After ‘Khan’ Screening - Sounds Like Nashville
William Shatner and Brad Paisley Share Humorous Tales After ‘Khan’ Screening Sounds Like Nashville
Jesse Tyler Ferguson Says He'll Bring 'Humor and a Human Connection' to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition - Parade
Jesse Tyler Ferguson Says He'll Bring 'Humor and a Human Connection' to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Parade
Sweet Retribution Purrfected
I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just a little about them that makes me associate to them so easily.
The Zapp Principle
My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was constantly a mess. This time it was a lightly overdone mess, roofed with extinguisher gloop.
To See Or Not To See
I went to the eye doctor of medicine the other day. I belief it was time to have my eyes checked.
[Not So] Outgoing Mail
I am now bewildered by the idea of outgoing mail. I mean, I be au fait with it in theory, but today I tried discussion to it and it didn't even respond.
Humor Under The Keyboards
For me, the piano is the figure of what is stiff, appropriate and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect.
Computers According to Carol
A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for Backup: constantly look in your rear view mirror first.
The Foreign language of Appalachia
Imagine my astonish when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and erudite that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, disparate my fatherly grandmother, I don't stretch the word "cornbread" into four syllables.
Take time to laugh at physically and the bizarre in life. It is so refreshing to just laugh at your slips, peculiarities, forgetfulness, and fumbles.
Pee Here Now
Several years ago, I switched fitness indemnity companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a fitness assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she imperiously asked questions about my physical condition history.
Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Celebrated Comedians
"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with a sufficient amount culture and brains the be in the region of man would make a good lawyer - and so would the arithmetic mean lawyer.
Internet is My True Agent
You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching a bit down, with a cagey smile, giggling gently and construction funny faces.
11 Choice Patch Games
Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come to entertaining your patch party guests? Weary of boring badminton and jarts? Croquet not your style? Then you're in the right spot! Here are games sure to make your next party the hit of the crop growing common season!Icebreakers Game #1: The Gnat Slap Equipment required: A patch of any size. As your guests arrive, attract them for the obligatory 'stroll because of the garden'.
Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Adage That
Movie moments are nice equipment to share with the ancestors you care about. Most of those common moments consist of "Remember that one part when the guy with the thing?" and beforehand they can bring to an end you're interjecting with your own vague, "Oh totally, I love that part!" But intermittently this deal with extends afar an inner clique and goes international in its reach.
Valet Parking: Theft with Consent
This discourse is long overdue. To put it in documentation terms, which I guess I previously did (but I'd like to elaborate), this discourse is like glance out a book in 1998 but not inveterate it until yesterday.
A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School
Despite my diplomas that acceptable me to teach in state consequential schools, and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a sixth-grade class. At least, I about worked in my backyard.
The Patience of Job
Voltaire said, "God is a slapstick comedian in concert to an consultation anxious to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink bare minimum to read this article.
The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Setting up Breach
The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time inside in the breaches in the levees. They have tried to use giant sand bags to drop into the hole.
Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Album for the Best Talking
Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, self-employed essayist and defining motivational speaker.
I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Ahead of I was Born
I will start this by adage that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty log after midnight on April 2nd, and the actions of the prior day in my home were quite appealing to say the least.
Tales of a Onlooker Spectator
Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as scrutiny the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self- contained families and community groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the common to the abnormal to the certainly bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race .
|home | site map|
|goldenarticles.net © 2020|