Freudian slippage - humor
Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's bazaar to get our bring in of fruits and veggies, departure Sandra to sleep in. I have strolled up and down, stopping at a range of vendors to buy the effects that application to me today and my 2 bags are bulging. This is a deal with I continually enjoy.
The noise of the vendors extolling the virtues of their produce; the smells and colors, the relaxed and gracious comradeship of both buyers and sellers all add up to construct an air of good vibrations.
As I pass one vegetable stall for the 2nd time, the lady asks, "Can I help you darlin?"
"Tomatoes. " I reply.
"Nope, taint none dis week. Try some ohbahjeans"
"Pardon me?" I reply.
"What for? You done somefin wrong by now so early in da day?" she says.
"Probably," I respond, "but what I meant is: -- I did not catch what you said. "
"Ohbahjeans. Try some. A lot good. Good for you too. " she waves her hand to the left. My eye follows.
Aha! Eggplant. Aubergine. I catch on. They do look good. She has both kinds, the white ones and the purple ones. "Ok, sure, I'll take some of the purple ones. "
"Not purple, honey, dey black like me. Dey full and firm an taste mighty fine too, jus like me. "
Even after active ten years in the Caribbean, the everyday casual rude humor still surprises me intermittently and I am never quite sure how to respond.
In my haste to expectantly adjustment the subject, I blurt out "I see you also have some zucchini. Too bad you have no tomatoes. I could make some ratatouille. "
She as soon as comes back with, "You come home wit me baby and we make somefin mighty fine wit da zucchini and ohbahjean. You don't need no young tomato. Dey not ripe yet. "
The lady at the next stand is chuckling and I am retiring the color of my gone tomatoes.
"Ooh boy, you in bother now," exclaims the lady next door, "Her eggplant mess up many man 'fore you. "
"Well, I'd develop just take some eggplant home to cook up later," I say, eager to disentangle for my part from advance embarrassment.
"Honey, you continually eat at home, you missin out on some fine island dinin," explains my saucy seller of aubergines.
"You bes be careful," counters her neighbor, "you eat in her kitchen, you maybe not go home. "
I am in over my head. I can only smile and play the bewildered above-board man to their comedy tag team.
"How do you bring to mind these eggplant be cooked?" I ask, resigned to location in my opinion up for more.
"Bes to cook em up slow n easy, wit a lot a spice. " answers my vendor, " hot n juicy is da way dey done best. "
"Maybe da man ina hurry," enjoins her partner, "if'n he's extra hungry dis morning, fry em up fast, den givem a back up helpin. "
"He not dat young; he know a good meal take time to do right ," rejoins the first.
"You ladies are too good for me. I'll just take half a dozen eggplants and go home," I answer.
She gives me 8. "Man continually want more than he ask for first time," she tells me with a wicked smile.
"I consider that'd be true," I say, as I pay. "Thank you. "
"You come again anytime honey. " she tells me as I walk away.
"Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace
echo the Beatles in my head as I drive home.
"Moussaka for banquet tonight by candlelight," I tell Sandra when I get home.
© Leslie Fieger. All human rights aloof worldwide.
Leslie is the dramatist of The DELFIN Comprehension Arrangement Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more hit publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www. ProsperityParadigm. com or http://www. LeslieFieger. com
Reprinting and republishing of these articles is arranged only with the above acknowledgment included. Authorization to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.
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