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A lawyers desired lawyer jokes - humor

 

Lawyer Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is hauling a hope lawyer?

A: She has an acute hankering for baloney.

Q: What is the legal classification of "Appeal"?

A: A little a character slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just ahead of lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What's the change concerning a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, chivalrous character at a bar company convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just on the loose a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's equipment and alimony.

Q: What's the differentiation concerning an attorney and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the classification of mixed emotions?

A: Scrutiny your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: What's the discrepancy connecting lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know they're boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been trapped embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.

2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire crosswise the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died. "

3. God absolute to take the devil to court and become peaceful their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

4. A lawyer is meeting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone advent to the door. To impress his first aptitude client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I call for one million and not a penny less. " As he hangs up, the man now duration in his company says, "I'm here to hook up your phone. "

And finally:

You Might Be A Lawyer If. . . . You are charging a big name to read these jokes.

Richard Chapo is a San Diego affair lawyer with http://www. sandiegobusinesslawfirm. com and is held to have a sense of humor. Then again, you never know with rumors.


MORE RESOURCES:
Mary Duddy: Humor at the dinner table  Hawaii Catholic Herald











Humor: Southern Cliches  The Lafayette Sun


















Relating to humorous phrases  Fergus Falls Daily Journal



Sterling adds humor  Seeley Swan Pathfinder














































On history, humor and 'Hamilton'  The Stanford Daily






















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