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Eye spy potatoes - humor

 

Lately I've had the conundrum of declining fast asleep with my call lenses still in my eyes. And by "lately," I mean for the past seven years. This, in a lot of ways, is the height of laziness as the confiscation of contacts takes no more than a detailed or two, or three hours if it's your first time. But I've come to the assumption this dawn that there is a basis I fail to delete the contacts: deep down, I am in suspense to find a number of ancestors in my dreams. So if I have the contacts on my eyes, then maybe my eyes will be able to call them. Isn't logic wonderful? I am attractive sure, in fact, that if I never cut off my contacts, a call may develop into a thing of the past. . .

If we exceedingly do adhere to logic with our eyes, then why don't we use potatoes as optometrists? Any vegetable with that many eyes must have good sight. The only thing we'd have to worry about is their communiqu? skills, as I've yet to hear a potato talk, exceptionally not in full sentences. Plus, we need to get rid of the depressing stereotypes of potatoes caused by Mr. Potato Head, who never seems to have his feet or arms in the right place. Quite honestly, I don't think we can trust amazing -- or a big cheese -- like that with our vision. Truly you'd be able to say that insignificant person "nose" the agitate if your nose is in an eye socket. . .

If the trust does accumulate, I think we need to comfort the broad populace that not only will these potatoes test our eye sight, but they will also help to cut off pointed objects, such as conked out light bulbs from lamps. Assume the doable diagnosis: "Well, your eyes are good, but your lamp is going to have to stay here for an added 24 hours. You can never be careful, you know. "

Speaking of columns going nowhere, I think most rabbits have more money than colonize realize, with all those carrots and whatnot. The thing is, what is a rabbit aimed to do with money? This distrust leads me to think that rabbits need economic advisers who will take care of money matters and tell them that money does matter, but then tell them the conflicting once they invest half of their money and lose it. Bugs and Roger would be proud. . .

In conclusion, I must stop declining dead to the world with contacts in my eyes, since in due course such an battle will cause me to write very bad columns about rabbits and money. Luckily I don't think that will come about for quite some time. . .

But I digress.

Greg Gagliardi is a coach and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www. ProgressiveRevelations. com)


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