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When it rains, it pours: creating a plan - humor


It's time for me to broadcast that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop citizens from stealing my jackets. Some of the skeletons in reality wear the jackets so they don't get cold. That may seem bizarre to people, but never has a skeleton complained to me. . .

"And what if?" you may be thinking.

"What if what?" I may be idea back to you.

"What if a skeleton complained?" you may clarify.

Obviously if that were the case, then I'd use my skeleton key to lock the door. There's nonentity I hate more than cold or numb skulls belligerent to me about the temperature. . .

Let the truth be known, though, that it is that time of year when the become rough can be bad. Like, raining cats and dogs type of bad, but add hamsters and wind to it -- along with a sun that is so strong, it could fry ants with the help of a magnifying glass. A lot of ancestors grumble about rain, but they need to put effects into perspective and conceive of how much worse it'd be if that rain were snot instead. Or maybe tons o' snot, which would be horrifying and a palindrome at the same time. . .

If this snotfall ever occurs, we need to create a plan. Since no one else has volunteered, let me be the first:

Plan A: Cover trees with tissues to absorb a lot of the damage.

Plan B: The same as Plan A apart from not including the tissues.

Plan C: Wait until the next Harry Potter book comes out, and then let the ancestors in line cast spells to eliminate the problem.

Plan D: Wait until the next spelling bee, and let the contestants spell "cast" to eliminate the problem.

It may seem like my plan will not be a factor to eliminating a major disaster, but it is critical that my help ends there. From this point on, all plans will be methodical by my skeleton. Make no bones about it. . .

But I digress.

Greg Gagliardi is a coach and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www. ProgressiveRevelations. com)


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