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A dogs guide to... receiving your dog to stop barking - humor


I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. So, whattya gonna do about it? Well, if you're Amber and Terry, you're going to do Nil about it. Ain't no one going to silence the Rubinman, you know what I'm sayin'? If you're NOT Amber and Terry, despite the fact that (i. e. you're smart) and you want to know how to get your dog to just freakin' shut up once in a while, here's what you need to know?

Why is your dog barking?

I'll be candid here: I bark for the reason that I like it. And for the reason that it gets me some attention. I'm all about the attention. Now, you coulda almost certainly guessed about the concentration thing, but the fact that we in fact ENJOY it? Who knew?

It's true, though. From time to time I just get a kick out of it. It's like, I start barking as I'm excited, and then after a while I'm all, "hey! This completely rocks!" So I bark some more. And then some more after that. Then I be over up with a quick round of barking. Every now and then I come back for an encore. The truth is, by this time, like Justin Timberlake, I'm lovin' it. So, how're you gonna stop me? (Clue: you're not. You'll NEVER stop the Rubinman. But you know what I mean. )

Well, if you want to stop a dog that's barking just for the hell of it, you're gonna hafta get clever. Cleverer than Amber and Terry. At all you do, DON'T shout at me. You want to know what I think when you shout at me while I'm barking? I think, "Coooool! They're completely barking with me! This SO rocks!" Ha! Amateurs!

No, what you need to do is, you need to distract me. You could play with me. You could feed me. (Actually, you must completely feed me. That's the best thing to do. End of article. ) But it's change for the better if you TRAIN me. Uh-huh. TRAIN ME.

Now, I know what y'all are thinking. You're all, "But the Rubinman is cleverer than me! I'd NEVER train him!" Well, you're right. You entirely wouldn't. But if you have a Common dog, you can train it. Mebbe.

I am what's called "clicker trained. " Clicker training is when you, like, get this CLICKY thing and get your dog to consider that if the thing clicks, a touch good happens. Could be a goodboy. Could be a big cuddle. (Note: the Rubinman is NOT a sissy. But a embrace can be nice). Could be in performance with your toys. Anything it is, it's GOOD. The clicker is power, and once ya got power over the dog, you're the boss of it. * If you're Exceedingly clever, you can teach your mutt to bark on command, and then stop barking on appreciation too, using the clicker. That's in all probability too cutting edge for you lot, though, so?

Understand why YOUR dog is barking

So, yeah, now you know why the Rubinman barks. It's central to know why YOUR dog barks, though. Here are some likely reasons:

He is bored. He is scared. (I mean, I'm NEVER scared, but then I WAS raised by wolves?) He is lonely. He has seen the postman. Little Timmy is stuck down a well and your dog wants to lead you to that well, rescue barely Timmy and get a reward. I'll tell ya, that happens to me a LOT.

Soooooo many reasons for barking there. First thing you need to do is, you need to find out which analyze is the right one. I'll be frank here: it's almost certainly the postman.

A word about the postman

Most so-called "exerts" will tell you that your dog barks when he sees the postman for the reason that the postman is interfering on your assets and the dog can't tell the alteration connecting "friend" and "foe. " What a lot of crap experts talk, no? If I talked crap like that, man, I'd be ashamed to call in my opinion the Rubinman, I actually would.

As any dog will tell you, we bark at the postman since we hate that sucker. In the wild, postmen are our biological enemies. On foot up our driveway day after day. Stuffing belongings all the way through our door. Ringing the bell. I mean, honestly, do YOU think that's agreeable behaviour?

Stopping the barking

You ain't never gonna stop the "me aligned with the postman" mentality. All you can do, really, is bribe your dog to stay quiet. Remember: we have no morals. (I mean, we sniff other dog's butts IN THE STREET, do we look like we'd turn up our noses at a spot of bribery?) We won't be offended if you bribe us.

Now, I'm not maxim you must all the time bribe us with chocolate goodboys. (I fully AM axiom that, by the way). I'm just maxim the best way to get us to perform is to reward us attractively when we conduct yourself ourselves. Goodboys. Cuddles. Chafing our furry bellies. Do this and we will stop barking. Mebbe.

* Amber and Terry, obviously, are NOT the boss of me, though. No one's the boss of me.

Rubin is a wolf in Bichon Frise's clothing. Read his blog, the Dog's Diary

Rubin's owner, Amber, is a self-employed writer. Visit Amber's website Hot Igloo Copywriting


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Chatological Humor: Canceled  Washington Post

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